Wednesday, February 20, 2013

A frustrating day

AHHH! So frustrated right now. DH has been trying to adjust to his new progressive lens glasses the past few weeks. Double hard, I guess, as it's his first time wearing glasses ever and then add trying to adjust to progressive lenses with basically 3 different lenses in one.  He can see great now for distance - watching tv or driving. They are not working for the middle distance (computers) and close up (reading) at all. No matter where he tries to put his eyes or situate the lenses it's not clear. He tried to tell them that the day he got them, but they (Walmart Vision center) wouldn't listen. Told him they take getting used to is all.

So, he's been trying. I know they take a bit for your brain to adjust to but at some point there has to be a position he would be able to put his head or eyes and see to read or see the computer clearly. There is not. We stopped in last Friday to let them know and the guy working there was a jerk, you could tell he wasn't listening to the problem and we made an appointment for today for a recheck on the eye exam. DH was already in a bad mood to start with (when isn't he?) and the doctor felt the prescription was right so he then had one of the front ladies check to make sure it was ordered correctly. I wasn't back with him when he was seeing the doctor but he apparently did some "test" where he put the near and distance together, with Dh's prescription, to simulate a progressive and DH said he could see through it great. First the assistant had DH look to read something to and tells him he's not doing it right and then when he puts his head and eyes just like she says he tells her it's still totally blurry. He can make out like one line, sort of. They don't want to listen. Then when I tell her that I wear progressive and when I look through mine to read I can see clearly like half the page. She says "well you probably have high end lenses, like Zeiss". So, I ask her if they have those to put in DH's glasses and she goes off on some other explanation of why, with my small lenses, I probably had to go with the Zeiss. Again, I ask her : can DH have the higher quality lenses put in his?. Finally, after DH says for about the 5th time - these glasses don't work for me" and that he'll just use them to see distance, he got up and walked out.

So, I'm left standing there trying to figure out a resolution. Should he try the higher priced lenses? Should he just get a single vision distance pair, to take off while reading or computer work or maybe a lined bifocal like the dr. now suggested (DH said no to those)? She did say he could get a full refund if he wanted, too. So, I just left and DH yelled and screamed in the car all the way home - also mad at me because I had the nerve to take him to Walmart while I got my last pair (2 years ago) someplace else. When he finally shut up long enough I explained that I have used Walmart for over 10 years with no problems. When I needed my last eye exam and a new prescription the doctor had left Walmart to start her own optometry office and this Walmart was left without the doctor vacancy for many many months. I couldn't see a doctor there because they didn't have one! So, I ended up going to this same doctor at her new place. I need to go in for another eye exam soon and had planned on going back to Walmart in a few months. But according to DH I'm wrong for taking him to the same one I've used for over 10 years, all but one time. So, I guess I will just get our money back and take him to the doctor that I got the glasses I have now from.  She costs a lot more, and more than likely, he'll have the same problem trying to get used to the glasses she prescribes him too, and we'll be going through this all again.

It's so frustrating living with a person that cannot handle any of life's problems whatsoever. I find my self trying to avoid anything that I think might be a problem for him - probably why it took me (well, that and I needed the money to pay for it) so long to even schedule DH's eye exam in the first place. We rarely go anywhere because the stress of it is just not worth it to me anymore. Sometimes on the weekend he'll say let's go do something, but when I ask what he'd like to go do he has no idea at all and I end up not suggesting anything because I really don't want to go and deal with going somewhere with him. If he actually had an idea of what to go do, I'd probably go do it. It's all just a snowball effect, of course. He's feeling trapped and house bound but if he tries to go somewhere he can't handle the traffic, the parking, the crowds, the lines, etc. One day each of the last 2 weeks he has gone out by himself (to help a friend with some things) - which is a win for everyone. He get's out for half a day, on his own, so none us have to go with him and deal with his frustrations at the world and we got some peace and quiet at home! I cannot wait for the weather to warm up so he can at least get outside a couple times a week to mow the lawn - we have a big yard and it takes him like an hour and a half, even with a riding lawn mower. I see the grass coming out of it's winter dormancy and will need to start being mowed again soon! Thank God for small miracles.


  1. What a horrible experience. There's nothing worse than having people not listen... but since you've already had the eye exam and hopefully still have the prescription handy, I'd go to an actual optometrist and have them fit him for glasses. Also, though DH seems extra moody, do remember that the wrong eye prescription tends to cause headaches and tires the user a lot faster, which makes most of us extra moody. I learned that the hard way! So it may be worthwhile to go to a more expensive place that will know what they're doing and actually listen to his concerns. Glasses are meant to last for years anyway, so a good pair is a good investment. I felt like my last eye doctor wasn't listening to me at all, neither were the fitting ladies, so though I'll return for eye exams, I'll get my glasses elsewhere.

  2. I'm so sorry to hear all this. I've been wearing glasses since 7th grade but just got my first bifocals 2 years ago. I went with progressive & love them BUT I did go to Lenscrafters & they treated me great. I take my kids just to Target - where we get great service, the staff knows us & will even wave to us when we're just there shopping - but I knew I couldn't get my bifocals there. I really hope it all gets sorted out.

    As someone who LOVED her husband being on 2nd shift for 4 years -- we only saw each other on the weekends -- I feel your pain. He went back to first shift last August, then recuperated after major surgery for 2 MONTHS. That was 2 MONTHS of him sitting on the couch watching tv, not able to do anything. He's back to normal now, but I RELISH any time at all that he's not home. It's just more peaceful :)

  3. Tanner - good idea on just using the prescription we got to buy elsewhere. I was thinking he'd need to have another exam somewhere else, but of course that's not necessary. I'll just get him an appointment (if necessary to pick out/purchase glasses) where I got my glasses from.

    Michelle - I hadn't thought of the fact that the glasses I had before this pair (from Walmart) were not progressive - I didn't find out I needed them until this last eye exam, so I haven't tried Walmart for the more difficult prescription I have now. With DH's problems with his, I probably don't want to! I too relish any time with DH out of the house - it's like all the air in the house just relaxes. DD and I usually do a happy dance when he goes somewhere for a bit :)

  4. Ugh, I'm so sorry you had such a frustrating day. It might be worth for the sake of peace at home to return these glasses and take him to that other doctor. It might cost more but than he can't blame it on you any more :) Good luck, my friend!

  5. I'm so sorry... :( If you were closer i'd come and kidnap you for coffee and small talk! ((hugs))

  6. I can relate to your hubby's frustration, though - I got the transitional lenses about a year ago and it really did take me a LONG time to get used to them. At first it seemed like I could see clearly on through one, little circle area. It was weird and frustrating, to say the least. But they kept telling me to just force myself to wear them (I would go back to wearing my old glasses!) and my brain would finally adjust. And they were right, finally I am totally comfortable with them. I got them from Pearle Vision - was totally happy with their service. I've used Lenscrafters before - and I HATED them - the lenses in my last pair from them started to splinter from the bottom - happened twice - and they tried to say it was something I was doing. Well, I bought the exact same pair (frames, etc.) from Pearle and they are fine. So lesson learned - you don't have to go to the most expensive optometrist to get quality glasses. Hope going to your optometrist will be a better experience for the DH - but he will have to just force himself to wear them until he gets use to them - no getting around that! Good luck!

  7. I would take them to a different place first and have them check the prescription. Maybe there really is something messed up there. But still there was no reason for him to carry on towards like that..ugh Sending big hugs

  8. I'm sorry to hear that. I feel bad for you that you had to deal with that. Have you told your husband that you need him to pitch in and not just leave all the decision making to you in order to relieve some of your stress? However, I can tell just from reading that you seem like a very, strong, smart, and decisive lady so maybe it is better in the end to at least come to a decision that you are ultimately happy with both for your sanity and your wallet. Good luck-I discovered your blog last week and I'm really enjoying reading it!

  9. Thanks everyone for the kind words! They help :-)

    Carla & Jud y- coffee and hugs sound wonderful :-)

    Susie Q - I spent the 3 weeks he's had them trying to tell him he really does have to have his brain adjust to wearing them, but he's adamant they don't work so that's why I said let's go back and have them checked out.

    Smart sorority girl - thanks for reading and commenting! It's hard to get him to help with decisions on most things - it just stresses him out and then he melts down and it's just all worse. I think we've all just kind of learned to take care of stuff ourselves around here as much as possible.

    I'm just going to return the glasses to Walmart for a refund and take the prescription to the same optometrist I got my progressive lenses from and get him some new ones with higher quality lenses. Any bets on a whether I'll be back on here a few weeks down the road saying his new glasses don't work right either and that he doesn't like the people at the new place either? I know he just needs to adjust to them - to go from never having worn glasses to straight into progressives must be hard.